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Options 1682 to 1692
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Be a turkey weighing everyone else down
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Wake up covered with cockroaches
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Wake up one morning to find that, although you haven't actually changed genders, you look like you have.
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Sweat cheese
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Live forever as a painting in a mansion
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Whenever anyone can see you you turn instantly into an unbreakable statue. Whenever nobody can see you any more you change back.
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Have a heart attack
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Have a runny nose for the rest of your life
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Never finish more than 85% of a task again.
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Eat a bowl of poop that tastes like chili