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  1. Have braces for the rest of your life
  2. Whenever you fart it sounds like a loud belch
  3. 50% of the time when people speak you only hear incoherent mumbling (everyone else hears the personal normally)
  4. Be cursed to change into a donkey any time someone calls you an "ass", only changing back when someone calls you a "human"
  5. Everything you touched turned into gold
  6. Have 12 children
  7. Live without technology
  8. It rains fire on your home city for 15 minutes
  9. Be married to Tom Brady
  10. Humans were born in a limbless larval state similar to a giant maggot with a humanoid face. They're as intelligent as normal children and can learn to speak but only metamorphose into adult form around their sixteenth birthday.


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