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Options 501 to 511
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An encryption algorithm is developed that is somehow proven to be 100% perfect and forever completely unbreakable
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Whenever you laugh (for any reason) it sounds like an evil villain's "Mwhahahahaha!"
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Have someone who follows you around and whenever you give your opinion they say, "He's right you know."
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Make the olympic team as an alternate, and not actually get to go. No one ever really knows you were "on the team."
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Watch every single episode of "The Simpsons" back to back
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Eat everything with a knife and fork from now on
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Have a coconut carried by an African swallow (which is non-migratory)
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Become a vampire
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Everything within ten meters of you is unaffected by gravity (or by large-scale centrifugal forces, so you don't fly off into space due to Earth's rotation). You suffer no long-term medical problems from this.
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Give five bucks to someone to stop them from constantly asking you for five bucks