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Options 1856 to 1866
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Be cursed to have the head of a donkey (modified so that you can still speak normally)
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1g of each element (up to 86) is arranged in a grid of cubes (matching the layout of the periodic table). Each cube is separated by an impenetrable force field and is 100% pure. This entire construction is embedded in your left leg. Then the force fields are turned off.
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Wake up with two heads. Your other head is a sibling of the opposite gender; both of you each control just one side of your body and cannot read each others' mind.
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Eat nothing but mustard for the rest of your life
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Get a foot cut off
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Have both of your thumbs cut off
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You are unable to speak and can only make braying sounds.
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Have a pig's snout
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Be murdered by your closest friend
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Have the symptoms of a very bad cold for the rest of your life