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Options 1772 to 1782
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Lose all of your teeth
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Sleep on a pile of full garbage bags every night
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The only food that gives you sustenance is mosquitoes
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Have an extra, yet useless, thumb growing smack dab out of the middle of your forehead
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Be a cucumber
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When you die you go on to a blissful afterlife UNLESS someone takes a photo of you full in the face. If that happens the photo steals your soul so that when you die you just cease to exist. Furthermore, in this life your lack of soul will mean you are cursed with misfortune.
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Be a bean
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Swim forever in a maple syrup pool
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Be cursed with having to forever hear and listen to Simon Cowell's inner monologue 24/7
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Earth was an arid planet with isolated seas covering just 1% of its surface area