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  1. Be one inch tall
  2. Be the shortest person on earth
  3. Toilet paper feels like sandpaper
  4. Be a cat-sized beast covered with tentacles
  5. Wake up one morning and everyone talks like Jar-Jar Binks as if its normal and how everyone has always talked. The only person who seems to remember normal English is you.
  6. Have perpetually dry lips that no amount of lip balm will help
  7. Have the guts of a boiling hot pizza pop squirted into each of your ears
  8. Have a comically oversized shampoo bottle for a leg
  9. Be only able to see out of eyes on the back of your head
  10. Wet yourself every time someone says the word "chair"


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