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  1. Your only way of showing compassion is by saying "I pity the fool"
  2. Every inch of your body was covered with tattoos (of your choice)
  3. No matter how often you wash your hair it always looks dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always feels clean
  4. Have leopard spots
  5. Embrace hedonism
  6. Go skinny dipping with Benito Mussolini
  7. Be mistaken for your sister
  8. The option this is paired with doesn't happen to you: instead it happens to all of your siblings
  9. Share a house with someone with athletes foot
  10. Blow your nose, look at the Kleenex, and see what looks like brain tissue


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