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  1. Have a bunny tail
  2. Have talons instead of fingernails and toenails
  3. Have tiny octopi on the ends of your fingers that strongly suction onto every surface they touch
  4. Find a grave in the graveyard with your name and birthdate and a death date of today
  5. You're being chased by six dozen slow zombies
  6. Speak like the Swedish Chef
  7. Burn your tongue
  8. You have psychoactive hallucinations every day UNLESS you consume 150 micrograms of LSD each day (in which case you function completely normally)
  9. Have an old, slow computer that never crashes and none of the programs it runs ever crash
  10. Discover human remains in your basement


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