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  1. Become an anthropomorphic cat.
  2. Get punched in the face
  3. Live in a world without tables
  4. Every spring you turn into a tree. The process takes several days, allowing you opportunity to find a good spot to root. After you lose your leaves in autumn you change back into a human again. You only age while in human form.
  5. Be able to turn into a motorcycle at will, but you have to spend at least half of your time in that form
  6. Be extremely attractive to the opposite sex, but constantly farting
  7. Always miss your bus by 1 minute, no matter how early you are
  8. Never eat a burger again
  9. For the rest of your life, wear normal clothes, but have everyone think it looks odd
  10. You're being chased by a fat zombie


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