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  1. Horses poop ice cream. Each breed poops a different flavor. There is no other source of ice cream.
  2. Alien space bats scoop up your home city and deposit it on the shallow continental shelf several hundred miles offshore from Florida. Since they're benevolent, they turn everyone brought along with it into merfolk.
  3. Use Yahoo
  4. Every toe you cut off is worth $10,000
  5. Drink from the firehose
  6. Argue with someone who won't admit you are correct because they are too stubborn to admit they are wrong
  7. Everyone starts calling you Abigail with no explanation and look at you funny if you claim that Abigail is not your name
  8. Every sentence you speak or write contains a swear word
  9. All alcoholic beverages taste unbearably disgusting to you
  10. Find 20 turtles in your refrigerator every time you open it


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