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  1. The Xbox One and PS4 are both financial failures
  2. Live in the 90's forever
  3. Be named Popeye
  4. Everyone starts calling you Abigail with no explanation and look at you funny if you claim that Abigail is not your name
  5. Watch every single episode of "King of the Hill" back to back
  6. Whenever you hear the word "chair" you must shout "TABLE" at the top of your lungs
  7. Have a large and colourful tattoo of something cute on your hip
  8. Alien space bats scoop up your home city and deposit it on the shallow continental shelf several hundred miles offshore from Florida. Since they're benevolent, they turn everyone brought along with it into merfolk.
  9. Most plants are carnivorous, though only a few species are capable of catching something human-sized.
  10. Break you favorite plate/glass/vase/breakable object


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