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  1. Find out that penguins have a super-secret society deep under Antarctica that is far more advanced than human society, but you can't tell anyone, or they'll kill you
  2. Be able to spell perfectly
  3. Give $2 to a homeless person
  4. Gain superpowers allowing you to emit highly visible and flashy heat rays, stun rays, kinetic impact rays, or other similar ray-based effects at will. The downside: the rays all emanate from your crotch.
  5. In any city where you pee on their most important monument you magically become 10% better at everything you do while in that city
  6. Drive a tank
  7. Never get sick again and die in your 80's
  8. Eat a muffin
  9. Use Google
  10. Every time you sit down to each any meal there is a 50% chance that it has transformed into a really good sandwich


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