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Options 1978 to 1988

  1. Be an extremely ugly goat who smells like urine and excretes outrageous amounts earwax
  2. From now on all food tastes like vomit to you
  3. Be cursed to have the head of a donkey. You are unable to speak and can only make braying sounds.
  4. Burn to death
  5. Be tied down for the rest of your life, with no chance of escape, while a dozen leprechauns dance around you singing "la-la-la-la-la-la-la!!"
  6. Be 9 months pregnant for the rest of your life
  7. Your eyeballs are replaced with the same volume of salted peanuts
  8. Feed yourself with your worst enemy's poop for a whole month (you can drink whatever you want)
  9. Your legs and body from the chest down are replaced by an upright vacuum cleaner. A handle mounted on your spine lets others push you around easily but you can't move under your own power.
  10. Accidentally kill the love of your life


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