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  1. Be the shortest person on earth
  2. Have perpetually dry lips that no amount of lip balm will help
  3. Have the guts of a boiling hot pizza pop squirted into each of your ears
  4. Have a comically oversized shampoo bottle for a leg
  5. Have diced habernero peppers rubbed in your eyes
  6. Be only able to see out of eyes on the back of your head
  7. The world ends in a meteor firestorm
  8. Wet yourself every time someone says the word "chair"
  9. Fall desperately in love with someone who can't stand you
  10. You become a billionaire but your 5 closest friends die


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