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  1. Have goat eyes
  2. Find out that your spouse cheated on you
  3. Forget the name of everyone you ever meet
  4. Eat a leaf from a plant which has only been watered with spit from people with the flu
  5. Never be allowed to use a computer keyboard again
  6. Walk on all fours from L.A to Seattle
  7. Belch fire, and it actually hurts
  8. Lose all of your fingernails and toenails
  9. Always feel like you've jammed your finger
  10. The world's population doubled overnight (the new people are shunted in from some parallel universe almost exactly the same as ours)


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