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  1. Be a cocaine user & occasionally get important stuff done
  2. At any time you can turn your hip sockets into a personal jetpack, but if you do it will permanently blow off your legs
  3. Have the most boring job in the world
  4. Be unable to understand/hear anyone and require them to say everything to you twice
  5. Your hair catches on fire every time you say the word "because"
  6. Alien space bats suddenly terraform Mars and transport your home city there. The climate is arid but habitable, with vegetation similar to the arctic circle on Earth.
  7. Have the body of a cat
  8. All future video games adopt the cell phone game paradigm: "free to play but the game is annoying somehow (you have to wait, you have to grind, you need rare drops, etc...) unless you pay with microtransactions"
  9. Be scared of mobile phones
  10. Everyone except you loses the ability to do math and can never relearn


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