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Options 1297 to 1307
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Boiling water teleports into your digestive system and entirely fills it. One second later it disappears.
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Nicholas Cage was god-emperor of the world
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Be servant to the poor
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Drink from the toilet bowl
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You fall into a vat of whatever this option is paired with (or the closest thing that makes sense (leave a comment indicating what you think this is))
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Overwhelmingly powerful aliens arrive and demand 50% of the human population as slaves, chosen by random lots. The other 50% will be left behind on Earth to do as they please.
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Lick an acquaintance's keyboard for 1 minutes
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Be famous for being sleazy
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Urinate every time static comes over the radio
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Have your heart broken