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  1. Be a herbivore, only capable of digesting plant matter
  2. A vat of boiling water materializes around you. One second later it disappears.
  3. Be deaf in one ear
  4. Never be able to use a smartphone or tablet again
  5. Have only three toes
  6. Every day when you come in to work your co-workers each lick your face once
  7. Every time you sneeze you fire a shotgun blast out of your mouth.
  8. You are immortal and invincible but you become a solid rubber ball one foot in diameter. You can bounce and roll yourself around and you can speak but you can't otherwise manipulate your surroundings.
  9. Find out the Bea Arthur is your real mother
  10. Discover that all your memories before the age of 20 are false


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