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  1. Whenever you told a lie your pants caught fire
  2. Everyone except you knows aliens exist, but they hide it from you and mock you behind your back
  3. Be deaf in one ear
  4. Have only three toes
  5. Every time you sneeze you fire a shotgun blast out of your mouth.
  6. You become a billionaire but you also become colossally stupid
  7. Find out the Bea Arthur is your real mother
  8. Wake up to find your ear stapled to the ear of a random stranger
  9. Live as a homeless person in a place with a nice climate
  10. Discover that all your memories before the age of 20 are false


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