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  1. Be the oldest person on earth
  2. Everyone you ever meet forgets your name
  3. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  4. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  5. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  6. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  7. Everything look like claymation to you
  8. Blow you nose with sandpaper for a week
  9. Wake up one morning to find you have changed genders
  10. Have someone slap you in your face once a day without warning


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