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You have to pick:

Once per day you are forced to answer a question from this site and the results actually come true
 
or
 
Have a pet velociraptor. It is well-behaved, but only for you.

 
Comments
RbrtKurtz

Who the fuck wouldn't want a velociraptor that behaves for you?!

JonThompsonsEmail

The questions are somehow mystically delivered to you, so as long as you are alive they still come (even if the internet has long since been destroyed). We'll cut it off at your death though. You won't have to keep answering them in the afterlife. ;)

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