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In addition to hot and cold running water, all of the taps in your house also have the option of dispensing hot and cold running gravy.
 
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Every year on your birthday you receive a bill for 17 Canadian dollars for "fusion services." Until you mail the requested funds in the envelope provided you become unable to perceive the Sun or its sunlight - the world appears to be in permanent night to you. Nobody believes you if you try to explain any of this.

 
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