You have to pick:

Be utterly cynical

Ranked 1084 of 1996

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pippinthecat  

Less people would like you, but you wouldn't be a bad person in your opinion.
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Embrace hedonism

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50% prefer Be utterly cynical

graysonwynter  

No idea what hedonism is.

People went to the bathroom in their back yards and then collected it in baggies to be thrown away

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61% prefer Be utterly cynical

Have another arm

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37% prefer Be utterly cynical

Whenever a person is stuck in traffic for more than 2 minutes they turn into a dog. When the traffic in front of them clears so they can move again they transform back into a human.

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53% prefer Be utterly cynical

sojikari  

I'm already utterly cynical. And seriously, those douchewads deserve it after they cut me off!

Be Santa Claus

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40% prefer Be utterly cynical

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